Date/Time: Tuesday, May 1st at 7:00 PM
Location: Manhattan, NYC
Number of Available Tickets: 300 Admit 2s
Please click here to review the RSVP Process and learn how you can get passes for this screening.
So how do you get tickets?
Passes for this screening will be emailed to 300 random Cinemit members who successfully RSVP. To RSVP, you must respond to this RSVP post with an answer to the following question:
What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
Hit and Run
In Theaters August 24th
Directed by: Dax Shepard and David Palmer
Written by: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold
Plot: Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson (Dax Shepard) jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. The film also stars Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold. This laugh- out-loud comedy, in the tradition of THE HANGOVER and WEDDING CRASHERS, will be released this summer.
Trailer: Not yet available.
George Carlin.
What do u call a bear with no teeth??
A Gummy Bear
Rubbing my chin and tell someone else that they have something on their forehead... They always rub their chin instead of their forehead.. Try it and see...it's really funny.. or rubbing my elbow and tell them the same thing...
"Indian people, we are proud of our cheapness. You are never gonna insult us by calling us cheap. Thats the best part, you know. You walk up to an Indian guy "You guys are cheap" .. "Thank you for noticing, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you" "That guy just called you cheap" "No, no, no. He pronounced it cheap. But what he was saying was - smart. Very smart he was"." - Russell Peters
Too many to name. Haha
One was, Guess what? Chicken butt!!
knock knock joke
Ms. Sanchez
Dirty jokes that cant be printed here
The commercial where the guys name is Michael Jordan and everywhere he goes people see his name and expect the real Michael Jordan.
MKOLAWOLE
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Thank you,
Althea
President Obama
I always liked the two tomatoes crossing the street the father turns around and tells the son to ketchup,it's something like that it's simple but just makes you laugh.
tony
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange u gonna open the door?
marilynnb5
That my mother in law was staying. Haha!!! Get it !! NOT.....
"A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
jokes done by kevin hart and eddie murphy
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
pete and repeat were sitting on a fence. pete fell off whose left..
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Whats the dirtiest joke you ever heard? A pig in mud
angry papa tomato calls his son "hey, ketchup!"
what did the big mushroom say to the small one? you're a little fungi!
Yo mamma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, skittles popped out.
knock knock jokes are cheesy but always make me laugh
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
did I make the cut?
The Gilded One
In the heart of Beautiful Beantown on the banks of the Mighty Chucky!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says:"Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon.
why did the tomato blush?
because he saw the salad dressing.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Walmart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
HUSBAND DOWN! HUSBAND DOWN! AISLE 7