Date/Time: Tuesday, May 1st at 7:00 PM
Location: Manhattan, NYC
Number of Available Tickets: 300 Admit 2s
Please click here to review the RSVP Process and learn how you can get passes for this screening.
So how do you get tickets?
Passes for this screening will be emailed to 300 random Cinemit members who successfully RSVP. To RSVP, you must respond to this RSVP post with an answer to the following question:
What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
Hit and Run
In Theaters August 24th
Directed by: Dax Shepard and David Palmer
Written by: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold
Plot: Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson (Dax Shepard) jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. The film also stars Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold. This laugh- out-loud comedy, in the tradition of THE HANGOVER and WEDDING CRASHERS, will be released this summer.
Trailer: Not yet available.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld
I will always love you even at 60yrs of age
from kevin hart and eddie murphy when he did raw
A joke my friends and I improvised concerning Daniel Day Lewis going into a milkshake bar. We had to be laughing extremely hard for a consecutive 5 or 6 minutes!
havent heard any joke thats really that funny
Rick Santorum's entire campaign
Knock knock jokes n ur mama jokes r the best
Every joke by Ellen DeGeneres. She is hilarious!
Blah blah
Naturalgirl
Two nuns walk into a bar - the third nun ducks. Ba dum shhh...
Your momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks!
NMS
A man was walking along a California beach and was in deep prayer to the Lord. He said, "Lord, you have promised to give me the desires of my heart. Please give a confirmation that you will grant my wish." Suddenly the sky darkened and the Lord, in a booming voice said, "I have searched your heart and determined it to be pure. I think that I can trust that you will not disappoint me. Because you have been faithful to me, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm deathly afraid of flying and I get very sea sick in boats. Could you build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive there whenever I want?" The Lord laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of the concrete and steel! Your request is very materialistic and disappointing. I could do it but it's hard for me to justify. Take a little more time and make another wish, one you think would honor and glorify Me." After much thought, the man said, "I"ve been married 4 times. My wives always said that I was insensitive to their needs. So I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel and what they're thinking. I want to know why they cry and how to make them truly happy. That's my wish, Lord."Then, after a few minutes, God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
When my brother was complaining to my Mom about all the wonderful things he does for her, Look he said: my hands are all cut from doing all these things for you! Mom looked at him and said: WANT TO SEE THE WHAT YOU DID TO ME WHEN YOU WERE BORN??
vandy
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!!!!
What do u call a cat that crosses the Sahara desert on Xmas eve?
Sandy Claws.
oh man--i know so many but now I'm drawing a blank! The only thing that comes to mind is the laffy taffy one....
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? Cuz he had no body to go with....pat-um-pum.
A lady comedian says I have a friend who gets up 1 hour early to put on makeup but my goodness HE looks good and all.
-if a blonde and brunette jump from a roof same time, who lands first? - a brunette, cause blonde will stop for directions
)
Bravo for writing your whole joke for us to read!
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho (not your) cheese!
Any Ray Lipowski or Dane Cook joke always cracks me up.
OnyxAmbrosia <3
i'm soo bad at retelling jokes! all i know is it had a rabbi, a priest, a blonde, a mexican waiter, and an elephant olay! hahah laughing just thinking about it
The Aristocrats is a pretty funny joke when Billy Connolly tells it.
I don't recall the best joke I ever heard, but this complaint letter written by a Continental Airline passenger always cracks me up!
Complaint letter:
http://iamkhayyam.blogspot.com/2009/02/best-airline-complaint-ever-writt...
All the jokes in Bridesmaids
A woman walks into a donut place and says, "honey, bagel toasted please." The guy replies, " we don't have honey bagel..."
When I first heard the joke about why puerto ricans throw their trash in clear bags I was laughing histerically but now it's just wrong
There were three woman at a clinic waiting for their pregnancy test results. The brunette says"if im pregnate im having a girl because i was on the bottom". The redhead says"if im pregnate im having a boy because i was on top". Then the blonde stops and think s for 5 minutes and then says " then ill be having puppies"
Not really a funny person.
Racial jokes I'd prefer not to write about