RSVP - NYC SUPER ADVANCED Screening - Hit and Run - 5.1.12 (CLOSED)

Submitted by tom on April 28, 2012 - 9:53am


 

Hit and Run

Hit and Run Screening RSVP
Studio RSVP

Hit and Run Screening: Official RSVP

Date/Time: Tuesday, May 1st at 7:00 PM
Location: Manhattan, NYC
Number of Available Tickets: 300 Admit 2s

Please click here to review the RSVP Process and learn how you can get passes for this screening.

So how do you get tickets?
Passes for this screening will be emailed to 300 random Cinemit members who successfully RSVP. To RSVP, you must respond to this RSVP post with an answer to the following question:

What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?

Hit and Run
Hit and Run at the IMDb
In Theaters August 24th
Directed by: Dax Shepard and David Palmer
Written by: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold
Plot: Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson (Dax Shepard) jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. The film also stars Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold. This laugh- out-loud comedy, in the tradition of THE HANGOVER and WEDDING CRASHERS, will be released this summer.
Trailer: Not yet available.

taty316's picture

The one about a priest walking into a bar... lol


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T.R.

batlink's picture

Three Jewish men walk into a bar… and buy the bar.


chrissylu4's picture

Say Hi to your knee.


joeybear13's picture

It was rush hour and the bus was packed. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!" "I don't know what you're talking about miss � that's just my pay check in my pocket." "Oh, really, " she spat. "Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!"


REDYST's picture

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.


REDYST's picture

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.


platemate's picture

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''


Mishy's picture

how do you get a goth out of a tree?..
yup makes me laugh everytime


lizzy13's picture

Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $20, " the teacher began, " and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?" "An orgy," Johnny answered.


ebella15's picture

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs....Matt


redthree77's picture

eats, shoots and leaves...not sure if I remember the setup.


Mujju_4_u's picture

That I passed in my Final Exames !!!


jfowler3's picture

I know it seems long, but trust me, it's worth it.

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.

"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave say's, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington and off they go. At the White House, Barack spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw ... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the hell is on the balcony with Dave?"


amogil's picture

Mitt Romney's campaign


nfelisshia's picture

What did the five fingers say to the face...


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AlexCons812's picture

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side


kmb1113's picture

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Nacho cheese!!!


julius007's picture

There were three guys in a forest.
Then they were being attacked by cannibals.
The cannibals said that they wouldn't eat them if they bring back 10 of the same fruit.
So the three guys go into the forest to get the fruit.
The first guy comes back with 10 apples.
Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thing you have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face."
So the guy shoves the first apple up his a$$ and then whinces. So the cannibals eat him.
Then the second guy comes back with 10 berries.
Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thing you have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face."
So the guy shoves 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8... then starts to laugh. So the cannibals eat him.
Then in heaven, the first guy says to the second guy, "Why did you laugh?! You almost had it!" Then the second guy says, "I saw the other guy coming with pineapples!"


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ymward's picture

Any of Jimmy Kimmel's monologue jokes...but I can never remember them the next day


veevee01's picture

i can't think of any


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lficano's picture

I called Verizon, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'', he said ''Not you again''.


ritaxny's picture

My 6-yr old nephew's joke are hilarious! Not so much the punch lines, but the way he tells them! Gets me every time!


Jurhidy17's picture

Spanish Pepito (Pablito) jokes. The Best. Also, this one:

Also I love physics jokes. Like this one:

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”


leidye's picture

I cannot remember one single joke....hummm I guess I got stage fright! silly me


bigz93's picture

That's what she said


Esther17's picture

I also love physics jokes lol, this one is my fav:

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How much for the beer?" the neutron asks the bartender. "For you?" replies the bartender,"no charge."


skillaz's picture

your mom jokes are great...


gestes64's picture

The cosmic joke that dictates that enjoying the most delicious foods in the world will eventually kill you.


sczeterko's picture

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!


andrea2110's picture

the peanut butter and jam joke from how i met your mother