Date/Time: Tuesday, April 10th at 7:00 PM
Location: Manhattan, NYC
Number of Available Tickets: 50 Admit 2s
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So how do you get tickets?
Passes for this screening will be emailed to 25 random Cinemit members who successfully RSVP. To RSVP, you must respond to this RSVP post with an answer to the following question:
What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
Hit and Run
In Theaters August 24th
Directed by: Dax Shepard and David Palmer
Written by: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold
Plot: Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson (Dax Shepard) jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. The film also stars Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold. This laugh- out-loud comedy, in the tradition of THE HANGOVER and WEDDING CRASHERS, will be released this summer.
Trailer: Not yet available.
a girl telling me i was too "big"
Yo mama is so fat her blood type is ragu
I don't think i ever heard a funny joke in my life.
roses r red
yo mama jokes
thats what she said
Jewish Dilemma - Free Ham
How many hipsters does it to take to screw in a lightbulb?
Oh, you probably haven't heard of it. It's a really obscure number.
A knock knock joke.
man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Chicken Butt
I heard a very funny one just yesterday.-
and it goos like this
Well,mmmhhhh,geee, lets see. I am thinking.
For God sake!!!!!,
believe me it was so so funny
I laughed my heart out
Oh well, I forgot
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Guy: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Walmart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
HUSBAND DOWN! HUSBAND DOWN! AISLE 7
the one about the chicken crossing the road.
yo mamma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the whole house!
marilynnb5
Batman & Robin is the best comic book movie ever... Lmfao
*CENSORED**
*Unfortunately the funniest joke I ever heard is inappropriate to be repeated here.
A spanish joke about two guys that were looking at a pretty lady. When the pretty lady got closer to they, the pretty lady was a guy.
A spanish joke about two guys that were looking at a pretty lady. When the pretty lady got closer to they, the pretty lady was a guy.
A spanish joke about two guys that were looking at a pretty lady. When the pretty lady got closer to they, the pretty lady was a guy.
Good question
"Knock knock"
Who's there?
"Amy Fisher"
Amy fisher wh-
-"Bang!"
That was the funniest knock knock joke ever!
1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
That the Rep. think can and win the election !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A joke told be a 3 yr old where she says knock knock, who's there banana. Banana who? She says "its just a joke!" It was so cute & funny coming from her.
The word 'politics' describes the process perfectly well: 'Poli' in Latin means 'many', and 'tics' means 'bloodsucking creatures'.
how do you fit a fat man into a straw?
heres a club: take the f out of fat and the f out of way...
theres not f in way
More an action :
I had got a new dog and my cousin came over .. she doesn't like dogs jumping on her so when sonny when in for the kill she punched him in the head . Lmfaooo so Sonny decided to attack her and she ran around the yard like a crazy women . Finally I caught my breath from laughing and caught sonny and she blurts out, I'm selling him to the Chinese restaurant so they can chop his ass up .
I cried laughing so hard , I had cramps .
Good times .