Date/Time: Tuesday, April 10th at 7:00 PM
Location: Manhattan, NYC
Number of Available Tickets: 50 Admit 2s
Please click here to review the RSVP Process and learn how you can get passes for this screening.
So how do you get tickets?
Passes for this screening will be emailed to 25 random Cinemit members who successfully RSVP. To RSVP, you must respond to this RSVP post with an answer to the following question:
What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
Hit and Run
In Theaters August 24th
Directed by: Dax Shepard and David Palmer
Written by: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold
Plot: Former getaway driver Charlie Bronson (Dax Shepard) jeopardizes his Witness Protection Plan identity in order to help his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) get to Los Angeles. The feds and Charlie's former gang chase them on the road. The film also stars Bradley Cooper, Kristin Chenoweth and Tom Arnold. This laugh- out-loud comedy, in the tradition of THE HANGOVER and WEDDING CRASHERS, will be released this summer.
Trailer: Not yet available.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
Hey Ive got a joke...A drummer falls off a cliff with his drum set...Buh dum Chhhhh
Jake Kring-Schreifels
What Is Politics?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo!!
If John has 32 candies and he eats 28, what does john have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Nana
The joke about puerto ricans and Star Trek
a man walks up to a guy and a dog and asks, "does your dog bite?"
the guy says "no" and the man proceeds to pet the dog and gets bit.
"hey i thought you said your dog doesn't bite?!"
"that's not my dog."
the one one about the guy in a bar
Two drunk guys are sitting at a bar. One says to the other, "I screwed yo mama last night!" The other replies, "Okay Dad, time to go home."
“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.â€
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.
What did the elephant say to the man ..... You breath through that ?
Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, "Man it's hot in here!" and the other says "Look! A talking muffin!"
Jewish Dilemma - Free Ham
What happened to the Jewish guy with a boner., ran into the wall and broke his nose.
a blind man bumped into my friend, and my friend was like "what are you blind or something?" it was hilarious!
A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."
knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad its me ^_^
A guy went to the doctor's office and said "Doctor I'm a little hoarse." The doctor replied "Don't worry, you'll grow."
What did the blind man say when he walked past a fish market?
Hello ladies!
V
a dyslexic man walks into a bra....
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt
Lmaooo!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
an Irish man walks out of a bar.
m~
Q: You're on a desert island with Mussolini, Hitler and a lawyer. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
A: You shoot the lawyer twice.
Yo mamma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.
A husband and wife agree that if one of them should die, they would try to communicate from beyond and tell the other if there is any kind of afterlife.
Many many years go by and the husband passes away, his wife goes to various clairvoyants until she finally finds one that can communicate with her deceased spouse.
He tells her that he actually has a very active afterlife.
He wakes up in the morning, has sex then eats breakfast. He runs around enjoying nature, has sex again, then has lunch. Then he does some gardening, has some more sex, then dinner, finally a bit more sex, then off to bed. He says he gets to do this everyday.
The wife asks, wow that's a crazy day, are you in heaven?
Her husband replies, "No, I'm a rabbit in Kansas."
Never loan a leprechaun money because they'll always come up short....
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have a gun...get in the van.
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.